I decided to start this blog because I wanted to remember the everyday things that happen. I have a total fear, as I am sure a lot of mom's out there do, of dying. The day they placed that baby into my arms, the fear began. I can't imagine my sweet little babies growing up without a mommy. Just saying it out loud, has brought tears to my eyes. Whenever somebody I know, or even slightly know dies, it puts me into a funk that is so hard for me to get out of. It brings my mortality into perspective. I always think that I need to write a letter to my kids, to let them know how much I love them and to give them advise for the future. Little things that you hope to teach them at each stage of their life. I have never written it. I really think that it would get to me. It would scare me more than anything. I hope that if anything ever did happen to me, this blog will in some way give them a little glimpse into the everyday life they have, and see how much their mommy and daddy loves them. Please, tell me that writing that didn't jinx me or set me up to die (yep, see there is the paranoid part, because I seriously just had a little panic rush through me!)

I have also decided that I would like my kids to know me. I often wonder what my parents and grandparents were like when they were my age. What was there personality like, what did they like, what were their goals? Sometimes, it is hard to imagine. So, I think I need to write more about me and Dax on this blog. Or get Dax to write about himself... Okay, so that was getting a little too serious. I needed to give you all a little laugh! Dax write on this blog, now that gave me a little laugh... ;) Just kidding babe! Anyway, that is my goal, more stuff about me... whether it be a tag, or a flashback, or just a few thoughts on what I am doing, I am going to try! Blogland, please help me with this, or suffer through this... Ha ha. I am not very interesting, but maybe someday my kids will look back, and see that their mommy was as kookie as they remember! And maybe, just maybe, they will look back and be glad that they knew their mommy just a little bit more...